Reasons why I hate Shelden Williams

Why I hate Sacramento Kings big man Shelden Williams:
1. He played at Duke. He might not be a whining preppy boy like Christian Laettner, Bobby Hurley, Cherokee Parks or J.J. Redick, but he is still a Dookie and I hate Dookies!
2. He's 6-foot-9, 250 pounds of talent and he averages 3.7 points this year. I swear I could do better if I had his body and talent.
3. He was picked No. 5 overall in the 2006 NBA draft and now average 3.7 points. Who could have the Atlanta Hawks picked instead? Well, Rookie of the Year Brandon Roy went at No. 6. He'll be an all-star for the Blazers for years to come. The No. 7 pick Randy Foye has worked out OK for the TimberPuppies. Rudy Gay fell all the way to No. 8! The 21st pick in the draft - Rajon Rondo - only started for the NBA champion Celtics. No. 49 Leon Powe also contributed to that squad and certainly has been better than Shelden so far.
4. The biggest reason I hate Shelden Williams is that he married former Lady Vols hottie Candace Parker, gets to sleep with Candace Parker and Candace Parker is having his baby.